Im sorry, Mighty. I know it's not the life you thought you were going to have.
I also know as Mama bears, we want to fix everything for our kids. Unfortunately, you cant in this instance. They need to forge whatever relationship they decide with their dad.
It is sad that your xh didnt get to stand with his son. But it speaks volumes about your son's strength and conviction that he didnt change that form. He loves his mom.
You just keep finding Mighty. You will get to where you need and want to be.
Let them blow in the wind, M. They arent worth your headspace.
Just remember to be you....in spite of how they act. They took enough, dont give them one ounce more.