Claire-- Is DB Worth it? Part 8

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Boy do I empathize with your situation Claire. I have the same feelings, where I question if my W ever truly cared about my needs. So many situations like you described, where I automatically assumed that my feelings made me the bad guy, and that I had to accommodate how my W reacted as if it was justified. Our communication was bad, just as you describe, and I can own my role in that. It's hard not to see the WAS as just taking a my way or the highway approach. My BD was the same, with W simply explaining to me how our R was terminal, and making me out to be the "stubborn" one who was "denying her feelings" when I tried to point out that we had never put effort into changing our R dynamic.

And I feel the same way about her family. They no longer reach out to me. Her MILs demeanor with me is as if nothing whatsoever is going on. It's bizarre!

As long as you've changed, you've won. Your next R will be so much the better, whether it's with H or someone else.