Well I was probably too strict with my kids, so I will pass this on, FWIW. Cut D16 some slack b/c she has to figure out how to vent and deal with things that happen to her that she doesn't like......just as you do. She needs to have somebody she feels in her corner and she can trust. I hope this doesn't spin her into an all out rebellion, but it could.

Don't know how your W put her hands on her, but that is a good way to lose a D. At 16, the D could choose which parent she lives with, couldn't she?

Having a united front is the way to go......if you can.

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!