KGirl - 7 months later...

[KGirl]

Today was a good day. I had the day off, so I:
-snuggled kitty for awhile
-had a chocolate strawberry belgian waffle at the local cafe
-went to the arboretum we have in town (10 years and I've never been there.. figured it was time) and spent 3 hours hiking/walking amongst the fall foliage. I found a pond where I made friends with some turtles, ducks, and wild turkeys It's truly amazing to find yourself in 1000+ acres of "wild" in the middle of a good-sized city.
-had a frozen custard pumpkin shake
-and now am being productive.

I was a little sad for H at the arboretum. Not sad that I was alone, but moreso sad for him that he hasn't experienced such a cool thing, and that he spends so much time indoors/on electronics. I feel sorry for him, in a way, that he misses out on these opportunities (OK, I suppose he could be doing such things but I really do doubt it).

I had an awakening/discovery yesterday that made me feel a lot better about the possibility of dating someone else in the future. I'm not sure how to word it without being too explicit (and I'm glad this is in theory an anonymous board!) but one of the things H said after BD was that he didn't feel like he was "adequate" in regards to s*x because the basic act of it didn't "do it" for me. He felt like I must be capable of "it" without extra "help" if he just tried harder, or longer, or whatever. I had told him that it just didn't work like that for me, and was that way for a lot of women (or so I hoped, anyway) so he didn't need to be so concerned about that, and there were alternate ways of getting to the same end point. I really didn't get why he was concerned because I had never voiced any concerns or upset-ness about the physical part of our R. But he was convinced that it must be possible.. and then I started to feel like there must be something wrong with ME. Then yesterday I read an article that said 75% of women have the same circumstances, and now I feel relieved. I was sure that if I started dating again I would be weird and have to explain to guys "so just doing that doesn't really do much for me.." and now I feel like that won't be so. It's strange how that was so scary for me. I guess with the right person when it's time, it wouldn't be awkward to talk about. But dating is for some other day, right? Reading that makes me wonder why H wouldn't believe me when I said that was normal. Too much TV and porn influencing what he thinks should happen, maybe? Or maybe it was just a random reason he pulled out of his @$$, like many of the others, to try and explain something that really didn't have an explanation (or was due to OW that he didn't want to admit).