I think you are trying to use what you've been told or read about. I really do. But the way you see what you are doing is not the way it appears outwardly, IMHO. For example, when he kissed you, you pulled away. You said it was a 180 for you. Then he gets worked up to have sex and you up and leave......but ask for sexting. You see it as doing things in your time, etc.
In my day, men had a word for women who did what I just wrote about, and they did not say it in fondness. They called this being a "tease". Not a sweet, flirty, fun sort of way (that women may think as teasing), but they meant leading a man on sexually......only to deny him. (And you know how rejection feels, don't you?) That is exactly how it looks to me. If I am wrong, the guys can set me straight.
I honestly don't believe you had the intentions to tease, but your methods gets a bit mixed up. If you intend to do things in "your time" then don't lay around on the bed with him and letting him play footsie with you. If he's a warm blooded male, he will see that as leading to sex, MM. Instead of leaving him wanting more, he probably saw it as more game playing.
If you intend to hold out until you have commitment from him, I say good for you. But to ask him for wine, lay around on the bed together, let him try to kiss you........who wouldn't get ideas? And who wouldn't see it as you being a tease? Yes, you felt quite proud of yourself for being able to turn him down and walk away. But wouldn't it be better to know "now" where you plan to draw the line before showtime.....then handle yourself from that direction from the get go? It seems to me that would be a lot classier than just letting your feelings decide if you are strong enough to leave at that moment. Not that your BF would....but that's how some women get raped. Just please think about it.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
