Forgive me MM as I havent read through all your threads. But I have read enough to see that you arent understanding dbing really well.
The thing of it is this. You live your life. You become your best self. You fix the things you decide need fixing. You get yourself good and strong. You figure out that you dont need him, you want him. Happiness is found within you. Someone else should enhance your life, not define it.
You are so wrapped up in his every move and word that you cant really see how this is playing out.
He needs to figure himself out. You need to figure yourself out. When all the work is done, if he decides to look to you, then you decide what you want from a place of strength.
You are giving him all the power here. All of it. You may think you have it when you play these games of cat and mouse with him, but you really dont, sweetie.
This shouldnt be a game or a tactic. It has to be real. The kissing, not kissing, the going or not going. All reads like a game from you.
The reason you say no to going somewhere with him is that you actually have a life that you are living, with friends and activities that you enjoy. So that there will be times that you naturally cannot go with him.
If you are laying in a bed with him and massaging each other, then you pull away or stop...that just aint right. Not fair to put him or you in that position.
He knows you want him, M. There are blaring red lights and freakin fireworks telling him that.
If he wants you, and I mean really wants you, you would know it without a single doubt. If he is still trying to figure that out, he isnt ready.
You need to act with dignity and honor and grace because that's who you want to be. You need to mean what you say and say what you mean because that's who you want to be.
Live your life, M. Be the best person you can be. Find the strength and courage to know deep in your heart that you are worthy and enough. If he wants to recommitt, he will know where to find you. Til then, leave him to figure himself out.
He cant do that while looking over this shoulder at you. He is giving you mixed signals. Screw that, M. You are worth more than that.
You have to become someone who knows that you will be fine whatever way this turns out.
