Our life was tough. She lied and cheated. It broke my heart and tore my world apart. I don't quit so I started working out, GAL, DB and IC weekly. I've messed up and chased and pressured her several times but have really been doing well in the last few weeks.
Big Problem. We had make up sex twice and she is now pregnant, I know that it's mine. We also have a 4 year old son. She has continually talked about abortion and said she hopes that she doesn't resent me for pressuring her to have the baby. When I talk about not being able to continue on like this she says that if I leave she will probably get an abortion, which I don't believe in and would never consent to.
She just came to me this morning and said that she feels better and wanted to make it work. She apologized for talking about wanting an abortion the night before at dinner. She's agreed to go back to counseling and even helped set a date after I sent her the counselors availability. I let her know that I appreciate her feelings but that unless we are actively working on resolving our communication and intimacy issues I will not stay in this marriage. That was a complete 180 from my typical I love you and always have and support all your decisions speech. She sees my changes and is actually reaching out to me now that I have stopped chasing her and started enforcing my boundaries and calling her out on her behavior.
The bottom line is that I like who I am and always have, and after working to GAL and getting in a better state of mind I really don't want to be with her anymore. I'm not happy with her now that the love goggles have been pulled off and I've stopped making excuses for her actions.
I'm kind, charitable, loving, supportive, athletic, attractive, tall, a good father, make a 6 figure income, have flexible hours. For her, I was just too nice. I want to find an honest person who will respect our marriage and likes kids, boating, social activities, friends, attending events and travel. Someone who likes to talk and is willing to put in effort when things get tough rather than just withdraw and blame everyone else.
I guess I have to stick it out in a loveless sexless marriage until the baby is old enough to split time 50/50 between the two of us. I know it will hurt my son, he already can sense something isn't right but I don't want to be with the person that she is. I've taken care of about 75% of the parenting up to this point and will really miss having my son around every day. Is it so hard to go to 50% custody? Will he be permanently damaged if I leave his mom after she cheated?
Has anyone else realized that after getting a life and trying to move on that you no longer want to be with the person who stepped out on you?
Last edited by Cristy; 10/10/1408:54 PM. Reason: per forum agreement, do not mention other books/authors
