You and your H never recovered your M properly after your A. You didn't put in place proper precautions so that he would never feel that pain again. You were hanging out drinking with a bunch of men, and ended up "kissing back" your neighbors son. You then made the further mistake by lying to your H about it through omission. You have some bad habits here.
What you did by hiding this from your H, and him finding out a year later (I'm assuming from someone else) is bring him right back to where he was 13 years ago. I'm sure that, in his mind, you'll never be able to be trusted. He's probably questioning the truth in your story, and wondering what else you may have done in the last 13 years that he just hasn't found out about.
He is no longer in love with you because ever since your A, one of his top emotional needs has become honesty and faithfulness. Without those being provided by you, he will not be in love with you. Period.
What to do? Well, I'd start by trying to understand WHY your H is so devastated. I'm sure you think you know why, but if you REALLY did, you would not have put yourself in this predicament last year. You also would understand just how important TRUTH is in your marriage, and how without it you really have nothing.
You must meet your husbands most important emotional needs if you are to bring him back, but I don think you will be able to unless you first truly understand them. He must feel safe around you again, and he must be convinced that he will NEVER be in this place again.
