my chance = HIS chance

[makingmagic]

Hi Eric,

"SOME" of what you say is true... some is not:

I forgot to mention that while in our/his bedroom looking for my birth certificate, I noticed a handwritten statement that he was writing like a will. Appointing his dad as executor, stating I am 49% business, money to go to my DD, and his mom to have some direction of his money too.

I know he is working in his head on figuring out our agreement stuff.

My actions (yes, no, yes, no) are what I understood Michelles approach to saving our R... to not say yes to every offer. It is not done intentionally as a tactic, but to try to withhold "some" dignity and make him do the work he should be doing to GET me.

We lay on his bed, as our room was always more of a TV room anyway. We were in there opening his bday gift and just relaxing. Most of the furniture in the living room is gone (mine). There is a small 2 seater sofa in there.... thats it.

YES!!! Exactly "HE" entwined his leg & "HE" placed his hand on my foot. <<<< This is the stuff I have been waiting for. This is the stuff that was missing in our relationship. It was always ME who did the approach and affection stuff.

Eric, I NEEEEEEEED to see/know that HE chooses me!! 180 for both! I need to hear "his" suggestions of what we will do (socially), feel "his" moves (affection, sexual attempts), etc. <<<< this is the pursuit I need/want. I understand the difference between his terms/his direction vs. mine. I am slowly getting a guy who is more invested, because HE wants to be... (not cuz I manipulated or controlled it). He invited me out last night. He could have easily gone for drinks with his buddy & not include me. This is new.



~ Yes, I asked for wine, I was standing at the time (lounging was 2 hours earlier before going out). He motioned for me to sit on the bed. It was quite nice for HIM (not me) to offer massage.

~ Yes, HE started to rub my back (we both complain of aches often). He suggested that we go for couples massages. Its possible that HE was trying to get some. However, he did not pursue all that much if he was trying to get that. I don't understand how this is not respecting or giving me what I need.... explain?

~ He started kissing me, and I pulled away (180)...I do not do that!!!! OK, it told him not today (and thats how I was feeling..not today) .... not understanding how that is a bad thing. I was feeling good that I was able to control myself.

~ Yes... he was "in the mood"... yes, its about him!! ... However, he did not pout or get demanding. He was ok that "I" was not indulging in him.

~ Yes... looking at it now, asking for flirty phone call, was because I wanted to stay connected... I guess, kind of playing hard to get... Im not understanding what you are suggesting here. Why not a good move?

~ Yes, pulling away was hard because I want to BE with him. I love our time when in his arms, etc. At this time, he may have control over my mind and body (will think of that)... If I accept and realize that... what does that do. Makes me want to gain control of myself (as above).... isn't that what I am learning to do?

The feeling of him warming up is based on someone who just before BD and up until June was pulling away from me. Now he is coming closer. Asking for my time, starting to be affectionate and not just to guarantee sex. Asking me for family time. Willing to adjust his day, to accommodate me. <<< its just the start... but I see & feel it.

Eric... THIS ^^^^^ stuff is Fixing my relationship....like I said, its just the start.

I am seeing that the more I can pull back the more he leans in.... much like in my previous threads that Job advised me to do. It is now working. "do what works".

There is a lot that needs to be fixed... this is just the beginning.

It is a good feeling to know that he is investing a little more in ME.

Yes, I want him back (if changes continue).

1) we are not sleeping or intercourse ...yet
2) yes... he may be coming back...when he is ready (this is his schedule), not by my demand/request. <<< this will change when I decide I want to confirm our status.
3) we will run the business... I will not be f-buddy.
4) Yep... it has been my entire focus... now that he has invested a little more, maybe now I can have the strength and confidence to find other purposes.

Eric, please do not see this as disagreement... I really do consider what you say. I have questions that I need to ask so that I understand your position better....Tx

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Today, one of us needs to go out of town again to get a part for business. He keeps forming the convo so that it includes me. When he asked if I was going, I said that I couldn't due to my DD lawyer appointment this afternoon. He is currently out for his weekly breakfast with his dad and was willing to cut it short to accommodate me so that I could go... he said "think about it"

He just called again, I could tell he was feeling out the conversation to see if I was going to go with him.

I won't be able to go... kind of rushed if trying to manage with my DD appointment.