my chance = HIS chance

[ericmsant2]

Eric... where are you? (Tx for giving me permission to contact you off site)

You are welcome. If you emailed me I did not receive anything.

Due to some questions that I had for my accountant, he brought up again today that we need to still discuss/finalize our deal.... also, because he will be needing some $$ now too (business needs new roof)

Tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock…….. <insert picture of Eric yawning……..thinking…when is this deal gonna get done>

it doesn't take 2 people to go an hour away to get a part. (Although we just did this together 2 days ago)

Yes…no….yes….no….yes…no…..

I hope you can start to see that your own actions are confusing. They confusing because they are imo, tactics. I know you will disagree with me and justify it. I expect it. I have been around long enough and have seen and read enough ….not to mention lived it myself…to recognize that your actions are specifically to secure a REACTION from your H.

Let me show you what I define as tactics…..

I gave an excuse to stay behind and not be convenient/available

If you wanted to go – then go. If you did not want to go…then you should not have gone. You see, you do things EXPECTING him to do or not do something vs YOU doing something because YOU want to. Wanna know why? FEAR. Period. You still FEAR losing him and guess what…that gives HIM all of the POWER in the R.

I was still eager to get out & be with other people so I jumped at his offer.

NOTICE that YOU did not just get out to be with other people. Nope. YOU agreed to HIS offer. Now I’m not sure how the convo went…but I suspect that it was not a (you to him)..”umm…yeah I was just about to head out so sure if you want to drop me off that would be great”. It appears to me, once again that HE drove the direction that this went.

Once there, I gave him his b-day gift & we were lounging relaxing on the bed. Opposite ends. He made sure that his leg entwined with mine & then he placed his hand on my foot. Light convo. I remembered that I needed to look for my birth certificate, but forgot as we left. He remembered & said when I get back I can look again.

Why do you lay on his bed? Noticed that HE entwined his leg. Another example of everything done on his terms and his way. That is…with the exception of the tactic you try to get him to do something your way.

After drinks, I went back to his place... along the ride I mentioned how I wanted to get my birth certificate. He said I could take a good look another time, if I wanted. I said, that I think I know where it was and prefer to get it now. I asked if that was ok and he said sure. When I got in, it wasn't in the drawer I assumed it would be... He suggested to try another drawer (my stuff was moved) and it was. I was a little upset going through my stuff but didn't make a fuss about it and asked for a half glass of wine. When he returned with my wine, he sat on the bed & started to massage my shoulders, neck & back. I reciprocated back massaging his legs & feet. At one point he sat facing me & started kissing me. At this point I had finished my wine & said "well, I guess I should get going...its getting late (9:30)" He said "its early". It was difficult, but I pulled myself out of that situation and began to leave. He informed me that he was "in the mood" but did not pressure or ask me to stay. Its my choice to leave. I told him that we could have "flirt chat/sex" over the phone... that it would be fun... But, he wasn't into doing that... maybe another time.

Admittingly, I was disappointed that he didn't want to do what I wanted to do.

Sometimes reading the stuff your write is tough. Really tough. You just DO NOT, CARE NOT TO or CANNOT see the dynamic in your R.

- You asked for wine (not a sign that you are beginning to pull away from him). You ask for wine in his house, where you had been laying on his bed. More on this…
- He started to rub your back. Ummm…I wonder what he was thinking. He already served you wine, so maybe just maybe…he was and it appears he was, trying to “get some”. What does that say about YOU…that he does not respect you enough to be flexiable and give you what YOU need.
- “he” started kissing you. Your pulling back IMO, only did one thing – it told him NOT today. It did not tell him that YOU matter, that YOUR needs matter.
- He informed me “he was in the mood”….funny it is always about HIM, his needs, his wants, his timing.
- I told him we could have flirty chat sex – WTF….are you kidding me. Do you understand why you offered this? Was it just that you were horny? Or was it…YOU way of staying connected but still trying to play hard to get so that he understand you are serious about respecting yourself. If it was the later…not a good move IMO.
- “it was difficult” but I pulled away – Look who am I to judge. If you needed to get “off” ya should have just done it. Chances are you would feel the same way you do today. It is almost like he has a control over you – both your mind and your body. Until you realize that, there is not much anyone can do to help you.

Its odd, but I do feel him warming up to me & wanting to be with me more.

How from this you get this feeling is beyond me.

He could be hung like a horse, have the stamina of a thoroughbred….and I still would want not part of him. None. Not now.


MM, I really beginning to wonder….are you really trying to FIX you or are you just trying to get HIM back.


I assume it is the later….so maybe my advice should be geared more toward just getting him back. If this is indeed the case then here is my advice.

1) Sleep with him whenever he wants or whenever you want.
2) Keep doing what you are doing – he will come back…whenever it is that he is ready.
3) If he does not come back anytime soon at least you guys can still run the business and be f-buddies.
4) Really….if you entire purpose in life is to get him back….keep doing what you are doing.