Depressed WAW, digging in, learning about myself

[Nitty]

Seriously, Card? Isn't that why you are here to begin with? You got the ILYBNILWY speech? But you are here because you believe that she could be in love with you again, or that love is a choice not a feeling, or......why exactly? What rule are you applying to her but not yourself? Don't be upset with me, that's a sincere question.

Don't get me wrong, rppfl, but what I hear Card saying is that he realizes that minimizing contact is going to help him preserve his motivation.

I see other LBSs get so angry and punishing when they give up. I was there, too. Pulling away helped me remember why I was fighting. That's what I think he's saying. He's not pulling away for her or to punish her, but to help him get through this. Isn't that the essence of DBing? Developing new habits that will help help you survive and thrive through the crisis?

Card, you've got D2's calendar worked out now, so it's time for you to fill in other spaces with your GALing. What is on your list of GAL items?

Even though money is tight, there is stuff you can do. My local adult ed offers fun classes starting at $5 a class on up. My ballroom classes are only $7 a week. That is, like, two Starbucks drinks a week. And you meet new people! New people somehow help you remember who you used to be before the MLC started.

You can take some kind of art class, which is really healing for those grieving a loss. You can take jiu jitsu! Poker lessons! Learn a language! Go to a Nascar event. Do stuff that is ONLY FOR YOU. Not for D2. Not something you think W will like.

Turn away from your W. Turn instead to your future without your W. If she follows or not, all three of you will benefit in the long run.

Once I committed to this plan, I felt so much better. I did at least 2 GAL activities a week, sometimes more. All of them very cheap.