are there any specific SUCCESSFUL threads that I can read? I'd like to read some positive stuff. seems most threads are all the same....would thing that there are people that actually have success and write about it? hope they do not just succeed at reconciliation and then leave the board leaving us hanging.....
Don't be too disheartened by the lack of success threads. Think of DB.com like an ER for M's. Most people here are either medical professionals (vets) or trauma victims (LBS's, etc.). I would say most people who end up reconciling spend almost no time on DB.com once things really turn around, just like most people who are healed in the ER don't keep hanging out there indefinitely. They might have some follow-ups with a doctor, but for the most part they are enjoying a 2nd lease on life.
Find solace in the fact that you are doing the absolute best thing for your M crisis by following DB principles. Yeah, the odds for an M are bad when they get to our point, but most people who get to this point don't do these things (180, detach, GAL). Most just do what comes naturally (beg/plead, angry outbursts, or they just drop the rope right away because they wanted out anyway). So yeah, the reality is your sitch [censored] and your W doesn't want to be married to you anymore, and that hurts more than anything has hurt before. BUT you are following the absolute best plan for your sitch, so stick to it and follow it relentlessly. Whether or not your W ever snaps out of her fog is irrelevant to YOUR path. If she is a part of your path, that will be her decision. But just as you don't control her, SHE doesn't control YOU. So take control of yourself and your life.
Me 38, WAW 30 D11 (former marriage) S2 T 8 years M 3 years BD 8/20/23 S 8/20/23
