MIGHTY!!! Wtf??? Water now?? Seriously. I'm so glad you're laughing. It does get to the point that things are so ridiculous, it doesn't even hurt. You just have to laugh.
You know what matters. I see that. Stuff is just stuff. The headache of fixing and the reminders of the broken promises, of finishing what was once started... That part succcccks. But you got it out. You're doing so great.
Ugh....the surgery. I can't even imagine. I ache for you, and I'm so sorry you have to deal with that....especially because of them.
When I found out about ow, and the fact that they were in MY house. On MY boat. On MY bed. She used MY vanity. I felt so violated. How could he do this to me?? As $hi++y as it is when they sneak off outside the home, it's such a personal invasion, that HIS bad behavior and poor choices should have to enter MY world.
I was so angry. Shaking. I sent snide, sarcastic texts to H so he knew I knew. I didn't even recognize myself. Never never never had I been so (your word) nuked. That isn't who I am, or how I live. But I absolutely unleashed. I pi$$ed right back on that territory, too... Not my best moment. I left a little message on the mirror....in permanent marker.
So, I can only imagine a little from my experience, what you must feel.
What I did, after about 2 months...I decided I didn't want those feelings of "ick" anymore. The things she touched, where they slept, where they ate....nope. I didn't want to go through life avoiding a certain redbox video dispenser because of two fools. And I knew only I could control that.
When H invited me over, I made a point to go into every place I knew they were. Where I had seen her things. Where they ate. I sat on MY bed. I even had sex with H on it. I was not going to let that thought....just a thought....get the best of me.
I took my modder-punkin power back.
Here's the thing, though.....the fact that their terrible choices have now invaded your body....that is such an incomprehensible violation. The physical and emotional pain. Not to mention your time and money. It's nothing less than an assault to your life. That isn't going to just not hurt after one or two venting sessions.
I see you knowing where you want to get to. This stuff you keep getting bombed with, Mighty....it's ok to be angry. No one here would fault you for feeling all of that. Feel it!!!! You deserve to feel angry. Then keep on processing it all the way through to the end. And THEN let it go.
Ok, it is obvious to many here, that you're some kind of "superhuman" ....but I see you going so fast. Take all the time you need to really get through the feelings, Mighty.
I'm also sorry about the timing. I would have made the very connection as you wrote it, if it was me.
Don't give them more of you. The association with Thanksgiving week, only means what you allow it to mean. And they mean nothing. Zero. Zilch. Nada. Jack squat.
It's obvious on this board, you are something special.
Remember who you are. Because they can't take that away from you. Nothing can, Mighty.
