I've been sick for the last couple days and combine that with unable to call into work = not a happy camper!
However- we did go to MC yesterday. The counselor said he sensed a lot more anger between the two of us yesterday. He wants us to come back within 2 weeks to see him. I was actually working (C is right across the street) and got called for an emergency so I had to leave and H stayed to talk with C.
He asked how things were going. I brought up with C that I felt H was getting comfortable, H was stuck in traffic so we had a few minutes to chat. The C brought this up to H without it sounding like I said something to him. H came up with the same schpeel he gave me (me working 2 jobs, him having a new job, being busy with the boys, and attempting a bathroom remodel). My response was something to the sorts of me being appreciative of all of those things but that nothing to me has really changed in our situation. We were just as busy in august when he was making every stride possible.
We also got into finances. Which H said was our main problem. And most of why he left in the first place. I told the C I don't feel comfortable with joint accounts and I also feel everything should be split 50/50. It's not right now. H said he wanted me at home more and I had diarrhea of the mouth...
I basically said no. I don't feel comfortable losing this opportunity that has allowed me to maintain the boys lifestyle and mine during our S. How do I know H is just not going to come home one day? I am worried about protecting myself and the boys and I can't lose the opportunity financially to do that right now because he wants to R. If there's something I learned during this it is that I have to protect the boys and I and make sure this is right. I hope one day that will change and hopefully soon but it hasn't for me yet. I just don't trust H. He stole money out of my savings while I was out of the country on a vacation he stood the boys and I up for. Everything was pretty quiet after that.
The C told H he sees a lot of hurt in me and fear. H said rightfully so and that he knows this is going to be a long road.
The C continues to encourage us to have our 1 night a week date night and to make a point to talk 10 minutes a day at least about fun stuff (not kids work or house stuff). He said this because of my schedule. I leave the house at 530a and get home around 8-9pm. For example. I am working 8 out of the next 10 days - hence why he said even to just take 10 minutes a day to connect on the days I work.
