Shakspr #3; Love's Labours Lost

[labug]

MrBond: DB'g post-D
1) Can/could/should I attempt to reach agreement with my W regarding exposure of my children to OM? I recall seeing mixed results here on the boards when this is attempted.

Now or post-divorce? Does he have police record?
What would your goal be in doing that?

2) She is super-protective of her phone, is most likely texting him on the reg. I am ignoring it, haven't mentioned him or the EA since last Tuesday. But it's messing with my PMA - her whole body language changes enough for me to suspect that is what she is doing w/o MR. Any tips on how to power through that (other than, toughen up!) So far, I've just been focusing my time on the kids and treating her like a neighbor. I know, 2 more weeks is all I'll have her here. I should try to enjoy it, strange as that seems.

You've probably heard this before but the only way through it, is through it. Some days will be good, some days will be not so good. You're in charge of your PMA. Start and end your day with a gratitude list. (What is MR?)

4) The future: What, in your experience, has been the most successful approach when XW is friendly and cooperative in matters concerning the children, and appears to be enjoying her new life? Cordial? Brief? Nonchalant? Clearly, going forward, GAL activities by myself and with the children are for me, but should shine through to her. If I have an accomplishment (complete a sprint Triathlon, climb a tough peak), should I
share if/when she asks "How are you doing?"

Friendly neighbor

5) I intend to severely limit calling her directly, texting child care details as necessity warrants. Is this good practice?. I am providing a mobile phone for my children so they can call me or I can call them (with limits to be established.)

Sounds good. You should have no reason for contact other than the children, right?

6) Finally, how do I communicate that I am leaving the road home paved and smooth? Does that come later if she shows an unusual level of interest in what I'm doing, how it's going in my life? She told me once, in late Aug, that even if she changed her mind in the future, she was afraid my pride would prevent me from giving us a chance. I don't want her to think I feel that way, even as she is now walking out the door.

Actions always speak louder than words, if you become the man you say you're working toward, she can't help but notice.

From what you wrote about your R history in your fist posts here, if your W does have second thoughts it may not be for a very long time. She's going to have to be very assured that your changes are real. So settle in, it's a marathon...