still holding on - 4

[u-turn]

Thanks Peter - I've been reading here a little, but not posting much as I'm trying to calm down and focus more on other things in my life. I appreciate your (and everyone's) input always. I find myself being a little obsessed here though.

I am really looking at the patterns where I have applied too much pressure and I'm trying not to repeat this. It noticeably shuts her down and turns her away. Which in turn makes me feel bad about the pressure I put on her.

This weekend is her birthday and we are spending the day together on Saturday (she asked to do this). I am striving to show her the best me without pressure. She seems very open to that right now.

All I can do is trust that this is real until I know otherwise. Maybe she will believe in me too.

It is hard to not ask questions or know answers and move things along but I have my distance shoes on.

Thank you!!