Depressed WAW, digging in, learning about myself

[Card29]

We just laid out the D2 calendar through the beginning of December. We were chatting on IM while at work. I was then just looking at this calendar and seeing how I'm going to miss half of my D's fall, most of thanksgiving weekend. I was upset, I felt bold, so I asked her how she felt about D2, holidays, etc. She waffled on a response, so I told her, "it's fine, don't worry about it", and I walked away from my computer. Not sure if she wrote anything else. I really feel like this is how she wants to live- D2 time just enough to get her fill, then free the rest of the week to be selfish. She has never been a typical "mom". She's ways been insecure about it. I've always reassured her, told her she is a good mom (which she is, when she wants to be a mom). But I think this is what she wants. I, on the other hand, want to spend most of my time with my family. I turned down a 40% pay raise so I could save 6 hours of driving every week, and I refuse excessive business travel. I had plans to postpone my career and be a SAHD until our kids were in grade school. My family is my biggest passion, and I'm married to someone who apparently sees it as a burden.