still waiting

[Ahoy]

Thank you for those words of wisdom, Zeus. I hadn't thought about it in terms of a 180, but that is a good way of seeing it. I need to be strong. I know I'm showing him my strength, but when I'm on my own I'm a mess emotionally so I feel like a phoney. My needs (for clarity, comfort, commitment) are not being met, as you say. I need to find a way to meet my own needs. Find clarity and comfort in myself somehow. But I ache. It is hard. I am tired. I miss the love and intimacy. I know, intellectually, that there is no point in lamenting and feeling self-pity. I am trying to rise above these feelings. It is a struggle.