Hi south74. Please know we all feel your pain. I have learnt oo here you have to detach Its really hard but your W does not wat to be with you. I hope that's for a short time but you have to accept it is what it' is at the moment. I doubt you will ever know why she did this because she proberbly dosent know herself. The reason for the detachment is mainly for you but to show her that she may not have the option to come home to her loving husband. You made mistakes but SHE decided to have an A. It was a choice For your sake detach. It's heart breaking but it's needed for your sanity and well being. The more you think about it the worse it becomes. So sorry for your pain DETACH and it will help with the pain.
