Hi gentlemen and Mach! LOL I really do get what you are saying. It's pretty much what I did with my oldest D. After a long and bitter "war" we finally found common ground and now are very close. Tonight my D14 came to me 2 different times to ask for my advice. Once about school and once about her new "friend" Cody. I doubt she talks to her mom like she does with me. At least she never did when she lived with us. We've always been close, her and I.
I understand that she has to have enough freedom to become the adult she's meant to be. At the same time, too much "freedom", too quick, is also not a good idea. Especially after all she's been through with the D and her mother leaving and actually still is going through. It's hard enough when both parents are involved and back each other. The way things are between her mother and I, I can see my W just disagreeing to disagree.
All night tonight D14 has been excited and I could tell something was up. Well, it turns out she is going to go watch her new friend play football after school tomorrow. She wants me to pick her up and take her to get some "eye liner" and then I can drop her at his game. I teased her and said well, I really should go too and meet this guy! She just laughed and said "I will disown you if you do that!". The reason she wants to stay at her mother's is so very clear now. This guy is close to there. She can see him after school and she doesn't even have to tell anyone where she's going! Her mother won't even know she's not at home.
I'm going to have to figure something out here that will give her at least something close to what she wants while at the same time not put her in too much danger. I do understand that she must strike out on her own but, like I said, too much too soon especially when she has already had enough going on the last year and a half isn't smart.
