6 Months Down the Line

[KGirl]

What you said makes sense to me. My H also said he didn't want to talk to me, or sit by me at the kitchen table, or whatever, so that I wouldn't "get my hopes up." I agree that it's hard to feel love towards someone that you don't talk with or see. I was just thinking that in the car today, actually - it's hard for me to feel like I even like him, much less love him. I really don't know anything about what he's doing or what he's experienced these past months. It does kinda feel like he's a stranger now. I think Maybell (?) had posted somewhere about really needing to rebuild from the ground up and not being able to pick up where we left off if we ever do R, which I can so see - how could you pick up when so much time and missed experiences have passed? I don't know that NC has changed much about the situation for me either in terms of drawing H closer or pushing him away. But I do know that the distance has helped so that he's on my mind not quite so constantly, so I still consider that a positive.

I was also just thinking yesterday that I was having trouble picturing H's face in my mind, unless I look at pictures! I've seen him twice since early June, for no more than 5 min. each time. I guess that should also be considered a positive because based on the pics I've seen via f-book, he's not much to look at lately We were together for 10 years and I hear how it is so strange to be so close to someone..and then nothing.