I just feel like I'm rambling.. my thoughts in my head are confused still, so I can't imagine how it comes across on screen.
It doesn't feel like NC has changed anything. I don't regret it, but it hasn't changed anything. I don't feel better or worse. It hasn't been easy or hard. It hasn't brought us closer or (seemingly) pushed us further apart. I am fine; for the most part, I'm happy. I don't know how he is. I don't even know what he looks like anymore.. I haven't even seen his face since May. It's almost just surreal.
I don't know how you spend every waking minute knowing someone for 10.5 years.. and then suddenly, zilch. I don't know how it's possible that it could go from being "normal" to me not even knowing what he looks like.
