Ok .. I realize that this is not my place to say this but I see one thing in your sitch that I just want to point out. (Small 2x4 ) You say that you are having a hard time with H being passive. ...... Confession ... I became passive in my M, my IC pointed it out, it eroded my self esteem and in a big way contributed to the issues in my M. Reading how "We agreed, you suggested, this and that" .... I cringed. My W became controlling (because she had to..someone had to take control, and it got to a point it was easier letting her do it than to argue over it) and honestly I started resenting her for that ... hearing his replies to you .. "What ever works for you, what ever you think, am I allowed" he is afraid of conflict with you , and in a way might be running away from that ... I did the same thing .. I never left her, pfffft to terrified to take it that far, but I sure as hell avoided her for years at night.
This might be a good 180 spot for you ... refuse to make these "suggestions and decisions" throw it back in his court and allow him to be a man so to speak. I ended up taking this type of tone back as of late and it has proved valuable .. maybe this might be beneficial
