FINALLY SURFACING

[Fartiltre]

I am good!

I have just spent some very nice days in Poland enjoying nature and hunting. (Ran into a huge male wolf while stalking in the forest. We stared at each other for a minute or so at 80 meters before he took off again – WOW!) It has been good and the peace in the forest, the excitement about the hunt, the fresh air and so on did me good.

Work is ok but business is bad. I wonder if the company I earn my living in will survive the difficulties it is facing, but I do not worry (that much) about the future. I will be ok whatever happens.

NW and I are getting along great. We talk, laugh and enjoy each other’s company. Due to children we do not spend that much time together but we value what we get. I find myself prioritizing her over many things but not the important new things I have learned during the past 1½ year.
As I get to know her I understand that she was once (8 years ago) a WAW and that her xH might have put her through exactly what I put W through. We haven’t discussed it deeply but due to the understanding I have of all of this now, I seemingly understands her like no one have ever done before.
She is very different from W. VERY! We share many things and views but also disagree on a lot. Still no deal breakers for either one of us.
We have talked about our fears, about being afraid to believe if this is true romance or just both of us feeling good about the romance itself. We have had many many deep and long intimate talks and I see how that affects her. The books are so right but case is that it just comes natural to me. I have turned in to a great listener and now I also share my deeper thoughts. Never used to do that!
We are talking about how to keep this going and we have started to plan more than a few days ahead. Things seem to go faster than I planned but I haven’t got a clue about how to slow it down. It seems natural and she is just one heck of a woman.
ML seems to be getting better

W has texted me twice about the karate during the past week. D7 is giving her a really hard time about this and D7 is asking W if she can stay there on Wednesdays so she can go to karate.
I stick with the agreement W and I made on this some weeks ago.
W sends a text asking me to reconsider, I say no, she goes silent and then it starts over. I can understand her hurt and POVs on these matters but IMHO she needs to put her foot down and tell D7 to stop. W seems to let a little door open to D7 every time and that gives D7 hope – and she pursues this as every child or human being would.
I still get the doubts whether I handled this OK but everybody around tell me I am doing the right thing. The only one that really challenged me is in fact NW
Ds are still hurting and stating that they wish W and I still lived together. S11 seems just fine and perhaps even happier than ever.
Communication with W is seldom and still totally pleasant unless I say no to something. I have made it a habit to text W when Ds go to her to tell her what we have been doing. She has told me it is so nice I do that but she doesn’t do it herself.

I find myself wondering what I would do and how I would feel if W wanted to R. I can’t predict the future but right now I do not feel like it.

My disease has been really bad for the past 4 weeks. My legs hurt a lot and some mornings I use ½-1 hour just to get out of bed. The normal health system seems to have given up so I have spent some time searching for alternatives. I found one and have consulted him a few times. It’s a guy that helps athletes, soccer players and so and he comes highly recommended.
Right now he is my hope. Due to the legs hurting I can’t exercise and that s!cks

I find myself at peace these weeks. NW is off course a part in this but I am fine. I face health issues and possible financial problems but in some odd way it doesn’t stress me or makes me sad.

B-V2
Welcome on board MS DB! As everybody else I am sorry that we meet here – but still in the current situation this might be the greatest place on “earth”
I am not (yet) familiar with your story but I will be Nice to meet a Scandinavian in here – I believe you are the first I know of. I also hope you will find the boards, the books and the “world” that surrounds DB as great as I have. I have been blessed with a tremendously big and caring amount of advice and if not for that I would have been a wreck.

Just wanted you to know that over the cause of some past weeks, I have been reading your whole thread from your first posting of 12th April 2013 till now….

Oh my That is a lot of reading but if it helped you reading it just 1% as much as it helped me writing it I am glad. Reading is good but I found that posting made me think and it made my thoughts clearer.

Your 1st ever posting inspired me to start my very 1st own thread yesterday in a similar style, as I liked your logical structure, so I copied that structure with pride and I hope you do not mind.

Off course not – just happy that it can be used to something good. I had no idea what I was doing at that time

I will get back to you on your own thread when I have had the time to read it but hopefully some of the VETs in here have helped you already.