Hi Shakespr - Since you opened this up for comments - I do have a few thoughts
Originally Posted By: Shakspr
2) She is super-protective of her phone, is most likely texting him on the reg. I am ignoring it, haven't mentioned him or the EA since last Tuesday. But it's messing with my PMA - her whole body language changes enough for me to suspect that is what she is doing w/o MR. Any tips on how to power through that (other than, toughen up!) So far, I've just been focusing my time on the kids and treating her like a neighbor. I know, 2 more weeks is all I'll have her here. I should try to enjoy it, strange as that seems.
Okay - You're a statistics guy. This is one area where there are some fairly well established stats that you can take comfort in. The average is 6 months and odds are this affair is doomed (yeah- a few work out but they are in the extreme minority). I'm in the same boat - and I feel some reassurance with each tick of the clock.
Originally Posted By: Shakspr
3) Speaking of which, the next two weeks are stressful for her (new job, packing, leaving our marriage). I'm staying out of it and taking care of the children as much as possible. Any tips, aside from PMA? I'm not GAL'g much - still working out (down 16 lbs!) so I can be a good father while my children are still living here at home. I mentioned on another thread - that memory book idea you did with your kids - that was amazing, and something I never would have thought of on my own.
I think you've already hit on your answer - for the time being involve your kids in your GAL. I've said this before on various threads - but I volunteered to coach D6s soccer team while I was in a daze after BD and its turned out to be an absolute gift. There's nothing like being around a bunch of joyous, giggling six and seven year olds. It lifts me up every time. Now I can't wait to coach peewee basketball too. Take a cooking class with your kids (our parks and rec dept has great options), train for and do a fun run/walk (my kids loved the SPCA walk where we could bring our dog), volunteer with them or at their school. Just make sure after the dust settles you do some GAL just for yourself.
Originally Posted By: Shakspr
4) The future: What, in your experience, has been the most successful approach when XW is friendly and cooperative in matters concerning the children, and appears to be enjoying her new life? Cordial? Brief? Nonchalant? Clearly, going forward, GAL activities by myself and with the children are for me, but should shine through to her. If I have an accomplishment (complete a sprint Triathlon, climb a tough peak), should I share if/when she asks "How are you doing?"
I'm just spitballing here because I'm not divorced (and hope I will never be)....of course you want to be upbeat, friendly and positive and absolutely share those accomplishments. When she realizes boxing gym guy is a bozo - you want to stand out as the best possible option.
It's not implicitly stated in DR, but my assumption is that most WASs have doubts or second thoughts somewhere along the way - and you want to shine in that moment.
