Newbie Errors- Restarting the R- part 2

[shodan]

Bart

I situations are pretty similar. What you gain from transparency is knowing that she is committed to you and will work 100% on your M. It shows true remorse for what she did. Yes, all of us had a big hand in the state of our Ms. But we did not cheat.

It seems to me that you have three choices...

#1: Stop the mediation process, give your wife time but don't go plan B. Pretend you are a happy couple. I can think of a lot of reasons why this is a bad option. I get Starsky can think of 174 reasons why this is a bad option.
#2: Stop the mediation process and give your wife time. You stop asking for anything and just move forward. You GAL, detach and go as dark as you can. This would be the plan B approach. A lot of folks seem to go this route before they feel they have reached the end of the patience.
#3: You continue down the mediation process path...basically the after LRT. if this wakes your wife up, great. If she does not and refuses to provide transparency, refuses to apologize and shows no remorse for what she did, then you will end up Divorced.

Everyone on these boards will advocate for the second or third option. Maybe you are not ready to file for D. That is totally your choice. So you move on with your life and pursue #2. Or you pursue #3 because you refuse to be in an open M and share your W with someone else.

If you end up Divorced b/c your W refused to provide total transparency and refused to cut off ties to the OM, is that a bad thing? I know, Divorce is bad. No one on these boards wants it. But, do you want to stay married to someone who is not faithful to you and not honest with you?

As Starsky said, only you can decide the answers to these questions.

As for me, I refuse to share my W with someone else. I would rather be divorced from her then continue to deal with the pain of my W involving a third party in our M.