Gogofo - Piecing with the W

[gogofo]

My intuition is telling me that we can make this work, we can be really good together. We are just moving too fast and need to slow down. We both go all in when we do things and we need to watch the pace we are setting.

We had an awkward night on Monday and we talked about it last night. She saw things in me that were there before and fears that things will go back. She fears that as soon as I get comfortable and familiar I will stop doing work and revert back to the old me.

Just days before we were looking into buying property to build a house on when ours sells. So yeah we are moving fast.

I think she is committed to working on us to, but the pain of piecing is hurting. We are both on emotional roller coasters and this month is bad for us with time. She is gone this weekend, I am gone all next week, she is gone the next weekend and we are all busy with work and extra stuff.

At times I feel that we can work through this by talking, at other times I feel we need help of a MC. She even mentioned that we could go after she disclosed the PA.

She revealed to me last night that I look at things as action/reward. For example, we are married for 10 years so you get a new ring, or we cuddled and talked for a while so not I get sex. Things like this. I never knew she felt this way, but I can see her point of view. I do measure things in this way but I never knew how it could make her feel like a project.

I have been slipping up a little bit and trying to be Mr. Fix-it instead of working on me. I need to 180 and do things without any expectation of return.

I also need to improve my listening skills. I let my self get excited riding the high of our R piecing and start to get in my head. I get excited and my ears shut down and I start to get selfish.

When she invited me to move in I asked if she felt we needed MC and she did not feel we needed to.

I think we need to smooth these choppy waters and get back to working on strengthening the relationship. Have more intimate talks about us and the R.