I can be the lighthouse but not the tugboat

[daring]

Well he texted me back and seemed upset that I asked neighbor to let me know ( just for background that's also the former EA so I think he worries about what she thinks of him sometimes).
I called him- I said it's better to talk so things aren't misunerstood. He asked me to give him benefit of the doubt. He thought this was something we could work through. Of course I'm on the phone crying like a dumba$$ but I couldn't help it. I explained that I wasn't thinking he did it on purpose and I wasn't trying to talk badly about him to anyone else. I just felt left out of the loop of the plans and I feel like I try and over communicate with him and think through things and I just wanted the same courtesy. I explained I had no problem with the plan to pick them up at his place, it made sense, I just wanted to know and minimize my own emotional distress when I thought I would see my kids and didn't.
He apologized and said it was good that we could talk through it and figure it out b/c it could have built up into resentment and a big issue.
I reiterated that I did not think he was being devious or hurtful on purpose.
I didn't say this but Clearly he feels pretty bad about himself because lately if we have a disagreement or I'm upset about something he immediately jumps to the conclusion that I think he is selfish or a jerk or purposefully mean or doesn't have kids best interest in mind. I always make sure to clarify that I am saying none of those things and please don't assume those feelings are coming from my thoughts.
While I do think those things at times- the moments that he brings them up I'm actually trying to be compassionate and understanding but also have him be respectful of my feelings.
Clearly he has a ways to go......