Not much progress

[PeterV2]

Dawgy, the night I found my W in a hotel room back in Dec with OM I confronted her and asked her to come home with me but she went back into the hotel - she had to talk to him. I went home, cried and drank a lot and then in the morning waited in the hotel parking lot. When they came out I took a swing at him but missed. I told him I would expect him to try and hit me if he found me f**king his wife. I've never hit anyone in my life, and as it turns out that still applies (not that I didn't try).
Needless to say it was a major backslide and I was the a-hole and he was fawned over. It drove her into his arms. Lesson learned. After a tumultuous week I went 100% dark. Then she came to see me.

I know exactly how you felt in that parking lot. Too bad your son had to witness that. I think it would be good for both you and your son to go see an IC. I totally agree with FunDad that an apology to but the OM and W is appropriate. Make sure you word the apology well. (Read Gary Chapman's "When Sorry Isn't Enough" first).

I also agree that you should go dark (except for the apology). This is a backslide, but may not be a fatal one. This is the time to follow Sandi's rules to a T. You must now buck up and be very disciplined. This will be the hardest thing you have ever done. Get some help from an IC. It'll be money well spent. You need some intensive one on one counselling. I got that in my early days after my attempted assault. It will help you. Don't be ashamed of getting counselling help. We all need it in these difficult times. Just ask some questions to make sure the IC does SBT as that's the program we're on.