Can I get her back??..

[LoveMyW]

I don't see where you have talked more about how your wife really felt about initially moving away from her family?? And I believe you said it was like 2000 miles....And now you are moving back yourself... like it is no big deal..

Do you or did you understand how important moving away from family and friends really is to some women? Men usually don't feel quite the same when moving. We usually view it as more of an adventure and when our minds have decided we want an adventure we tend to not see how our wife truly feels. Sometimes the man tries "selling" his wife on the move despite her feelings deep down inside. She doesn't feel she can honestly reveal her deep thoughts about this because he just isn't hearing it...

Do you or can you see the difference in how this may have rocked her to her CORE????? Maybe even went along with you because you didn't or wouldn't listen to HER true feelings because she might say NO she didn't want to??? Then when she got there it all hit her that she wasn't going to do it for one minute more and that she had done it to please you and now she wasn't going to please you anymore?????



Who's idea was it to move?

I think you need to look deeper into this. It looks as though she never wanted to move away in the beginning and you could have just "sold" her on it by not allowing her to feel open and honest about her true feeling on moving.

You are coming across like someone who makes excuses for his behavior.... Twice you have made comments about your wife and then excused it... One was when you asked her if she was going out to drink and then said you were only joking.. the other time was when you asked the kids if she stayed all night with them at the sleepover and then said the reason you asked that was because they had never slept over there before...

To be quite frank with you, I don't believe your excuses for a minute. AND neither did she... You were prying...

I don't think you are being totally honest about yourself with us or with yourself here.....

Please read 25's thread about her husband wanting to move to Alaska and how she viewed it versus how she says he viewed it...

Food for thought....

JCred, thanks for your reply..

Now to answer your questions.. First up, I didn't think it was required to speak about the move as it was a joint decision, and was planned 6-8 months before we moved.. It was something that we both saved for, and were looking forward to.. It was W who initially got the ball rolling be expressing her interest in making the move.. Given this, I think it makes your point regarding "rocking her to her core" to be moot, but please feel free to correct me if you think I am missing something in HER idea rocking HER so much..

The only thing I can think is that once we were there that she got homesick..

If that is the impression you get about my sitch, then you have read me all wrong.. I'm not sure how you run your life, and I haven't seen your name on this board before this comment, but if you knew me and my W personally, you would know that the kids have NEVER slept over anywhere other than families houses (grandparents, cousins etc).. Knowing this, and hearing they slept at a friend of W, of course I am going to ask a question as it has NEVER happened previously.. Once again, I beg you to correct me if I am wrong..

I'm wondering what your motives are behind your particular comments that you have made, but they don't seem helpful at all.. I don't really appreciate being told I am not being honest, when I have given all information about my sitch, and have answered any questions directed toward me honestly, and informatively..

I would really like to hear your reasoning behind your train of thought..