Magingmagic, where'dja go??

[ericmsant2]

I wonder if there is a way to actually speak to you "live"... is there?

Job is correct in that many people would like to remain anonymous, especially for the reasons Job mentions. That said, I am pretty open dude - if you want to reach me

Sharing contact information is not allowed on this site.

Just remember...this is not about being right or wrong.

You mentioned that other posters agree with your approach. My approach may be a bit different....it is based on trying to get you to a healthy place in yourself and in your R - be it with your BF or with someone else.

When I first came here...I did not KNOW how to have a healthy R. The advice was more geared toward "saving my relationship". I firmly believe in Marriage and in committed relationships. I just believe that they require two people who are BOTH healthy.

So although others may say...yeah do this or do that...you should ask yourself...how healthy is the R that they are in now. That is not criticizing anyone...it is my opinion.

so now you know how to contact me.

I'll close with this....

I'm not here to be your friend, I'm not here to just make you feel better, I'm here because I believe in the DB principals and if I can help someone, then great. So if you want so one to always validate you, to never point out things that you may not see or choose not to see...then I am the wrong guy to talk to.

Case in point.....the "old times" who posted to me KNEW that bullchit I was telling myself. They never let up, the never let me skate by. They pushed...they challenged and for that...I will be forever grateful.

I hope you come to that say place.... a place of peace...a place of realizing what is healthy and what is not. For example....

You have convinced yourself that you were too "pushy" so now...you have gone the complete opposite. Your BF drives everything. You really just react to what he says and does MOST of the time. What I hope you come to realize is that believe it or not...it is not healthy. An R requires two people. It requires work on both sides. You have needs and wants and so does he. Giving up your needs and wants....IMO, not good. The same can be said for him. Finding the balance is the hard part, the balance though should not be....MM doing what he says or MM using tricks and tactics to get him back. Think about it...is that you being YOUR authentic self? Is that you being MM? IMO, NO - it is you being the MM that HE wants and that is not healthy.

You know where to reach me.