Thanks Wonka. One of the great things I am learning and listening to, is having the new partner talk to me about the boys. She says exactly what you say, they are grown up and will make their own decisions and choices. It takes a while, but slowly that is sinking in. I am accepting that the boys are doing their own thing. I am their Dad, and always will be. I am very pleased and in a way honoured that they answer my texts quite quickly, haven't declined any invitations and saw me for Fathers Day. I am trying to start up a ritual, which is having dinner once a month. But like all rituals, it takes time. I cannot have a regular phone call time with the youngest son as he is doing shift work, which changes each week. So I usually have to text him, asking when he is available to ring. Actually ringing him tonight :-) The oldest one is a lot more easier: we talk briefly on Facebook and text. Chatting on the phone maybe each fortnight. The hard thing was just conversing on the phone. Neither boy wanted to ask questions and trying to get any info (not about the Wife) about what they are doing or have done, was like pulling teeth. Bloody hard. In one way I think buying the house from the W was probably something the boys don't enjoy. By that, I mean they probably don't like visiting the house because of it's memories of being the family home. I think while I am being positive about the knowledge the boys don't hate me, but are simply being young adult boys and not paying too much attention to their parents, the hard part is that they both live with the SIL. It would be so much easier to handle them living with friends etc. The SIL is very bitchy at times, quick to point fingers and has a way of making sure her opinion is the right opinion. Again, I just have to deal with the cards I have been given. I am still very lucky to have the boys in my life, while I wish it was more, at least they are still there.
Sorry to hear the passing of your father, it does sound like you really loved that ritual of Sunday evening calls. Take care Wonka.
ME:51 W:46 M:25 S:22, S:20 Divorced 16/9/15 BD 10/12 W left 12/12 with OW, affair confirmed Nov/12. Dark since 6/13 I"m in a new relationship since Feb 14.
