Yep, pretty much sums up my thinking right now. A few hours after R talk W joins the family on the couch and wedges herself between D and me so that our bodies touch-nothing special, but the first real effort either one of us has made in a month to connect.
I don't feel she is stringing me along to cake eat- I believe the A has ended (at least for now) but that she is as unsure as I am that M can work. Problem is her doubts are based on our historical issues and my doubts are based on the deceit that surrounded the A and that she will lie to me again at the drop of a hat if she feels it's more convenient for her.
DR says keep doing what works, which would be detaching and GAL but I'm just so torn- I will of course keep up the PMA and being the strong confident H that she would be a fool to let go, but I feel like unless we both start working on the R we are headed to D. Question is do I "break", show her that I can be the type of man who she can love/trust and who can provide a safe environment (throuh compassionate actions and working on the R, not by words) rather than being dim/dark or do I keep up the hard line "I want a D unless you can promise me Transparency" which frankly, is a commitment she is going to break if she wants to anyway?
Somebody on another thread said you can demand all the passwords/NC/ transparency you want but unless WAS is ready to provide it there is always a way around it- I feel like W wants to come back, but is unsure it is the right move or a safe place for her, and it now may be up to me to show her that it is. How I give her what she needs in order to see hope for us while setting boundries I can live with is my big delimma right now.
Me: 45 W:43 M: 15, T:21 2 Kids- S-14, D-12 A Started: 10/2013 Discovered as EA: 6/2014, as PA: 7/2014 A changing, not ending Start DB'ing 9/2014 Same house, same bed
