Do I walk away from WAW? (1)

[MrBond]

In your "list" all you did was mostly include your W in them. I'm asking for the ones that YOU are responsible for. You're still scorekeeping by constantly including her in the descriptions.

Here are some examples of you doing that.
"- communication. I am generally avoidant of "hard" discussions in many areas of my life,"" She is big on deflecting. This can turn into passive-aggressive behavior from both of us."

"- responsibility. There is a vacuum here in the M. We are similar, both bright intelligent people but underachievers.""My W is strangely unburdened by housework, I think that she's unable to see it as a series of small tasks and is overwhelmed by the big picture of running th house, so she's withdrawn from it."

"- I am unhappy at my job. W has urged me to get a new job for years but I have a lot of frustration with the next step in my career."I think she is tired of waiting for me to make a change, even though she is in a very similar boat."

Why are you so attached to her. Redo that list with only what YOU are responsible for. If you don't like your job, then just say that. Stop saying "well my W didn't like my job, BUT she doesn't like hers either" kind of thing. That's scorekeeping.