Although I never wanted to be here, I'm not ashamed to let it happen. He is so desperate. He feels he needs this. I love him enough to let him have what he feels he needs. Even though that means letting him go.
I haven't given up on us, maybe years down the road. If he comes through this. I pray he does. This is so hard to know he hurts. He's so miserable. It's hard to not love him anyway. I can't help it.
I'm going with the flow of things, as opposed to going against. I will not fight H. I think it has confused him ever since I read DB and DR. I simply do not engage in fights he picks.
H is still spinning. No idea why, and it doesn't matter. The energy is different, though. Something is up.
He sent a couple of texts. First one, he asked about D13. (His favorite) He knew about her braces. He asked if she was excited, and said, "I sure miss her."
????
A while later, he sent that he wanted to come by and pick up a piece of furniture from my storage. ( I had said he could have it a few weeks ago.)
"Can I get that table on way home?"
I said, "ok."
Then he changed his mind. "Can't come today now. I'm very busy. I don't know when I can get it."
I replied, "ok."
Then he sent that he has been very busy helping his D19 because she got into a wreck last weekend. (He didn't know I already knew).
The text was a little garbled....misspelled worse than normal. I don't like that. Reminds me of February.
I replied, "Is she ok?"
He said "yes. I'm very busy. Don't worry." .... and that was that.
Saaaayyyyyy........huh? Are there many others this loopy? What is that about?
There is a tension in the air. I know it's not me! and I haven't done anything to cause this. But I feel a strange thing. Idk. Maybe I'm losing it.
Breathe. Ok!!! Done. No more of him, now.
Blech. Ptooey. Time for something new.....need a change.
How cold will it be in NY next week???
It was a clear 95 here today....
I'm guessing I won't be wearing flip-flops....hence the BOOOOOOOTS!
