On my "dark night(s)", eventually I came to feel at peace with the future I saw, without my h.
I even felt sorry for him, b/c I KNEW I'd be okay but could not honestly see how he could be, vis a vis our children. That's not competitive of me, though it may sound that way. I just felt bad for him, but mostly good for me/my future. (Based on what you've written here, I believe You will get there too.)
I also knew in my heart that no other woman could or would have gotten thru all the advanced & professional (DEMANDING) schooling, AND life under the poverty level for our youth and for so many years, --
--with so much laughter and joy and my love for him. I knew I loved him very well for most of our marriage.
No other woman would appreciate the comparatively glorious wealth we now enjoy, b/c no other woman would have eaten what we ate when we were first married.
We ate what H got hunting, (And goat meat he recovered from a "control group" that was euthanized under FDA/PETA rules) though they were still healthy and safe to eat.
Suffice to say we had roughed it, a lot. Yet I never ever complained, as I wasn't even aware of how poor we were. I was madly in love.
No lawyer/doctor/gorgeous woman that h could hope to meet, would ever know what HE and I had learned...
So I was at peace. I began to hold my head up a little higher. I believed there was going to be someone very good, whom I'd share my life with again, married or not. I would not be "lonely" again, even if I were alone. And there are worse things than being alone...
---like wishing you were.
((( )))
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
