Ugh!!!! I really, really hate my soon to be ex wife!!!!! So, today I pick my D up from school and she says she needs to "talk" to me about 2 things when we get home. OK, I have an idea since she's 14 and now in a larger school and I've been through 14 year old D stuff before. I'm thinking that she met a boy. Low and behold, I was right. His name is Cody and he is a grade under her (8th) but he is the same age. They met at the "fair" that she went to last week. He is a football player and is "tall'. Of course I teased her a bit but nothing I didn't expect.
The next thing is where the problem comes in....seems my D wants to live "mostly" with her mom. She said "Dad, you're my favorite parent, it's just that my school and all my friends live around there". I ask what she had in mind and she says "Well, I could spend weekends with you during the school year, I know lots of people who do that". I say that I never liked the 7days/7 days thing as I understand that it's hard, but that was the best we could come up with. I also told her that to be honest, I really don't like the fact that her mother leaves her alone almost every night until 9:00 or later. She said 'I'm a teenager dad, I LIKE not having anyone around". Of course you don't, but it's not what's best for you! I told her that it is easy to get into trouble not on purpose, but things can happen, especially if you have a boyfriend! She, of course defended herself saying she is a good kid (true) and she won't let anything happen. Of course she thinks that, she's 14! I told her that I would have to talk to her mother and Get this, she said "Mom said it was up to you!"!!! Oh, thanks a lot, W. Way to drop me under the bus!
This wouldn't be happening if my W didn't move 30 miles away. If she hadn't refused to send her to the school that she wanted to go to but my W didn't want to be bothered picking her up and taking her to! I should have fought her and stopped her from putting my D in a school so close to her! I hate my W! She destroys her family because she has no coping skills and is a selfish jerk in MLC and now I'm going to lose my D14!! I hate her, I hate her, I hate her! My D19 moved because my W "had" to move away and now this!
I told my D14 that I would try to think of something different. That if I have to I'll sell my house and move to where her mother lives. Gee, another win for the selfish ass that my W has decided she wants to be! My D14 said "I can spend Thanksgiving week and X-mass with you". I tell her no, according to the D decree her mom gets her Thanksgiving this year. My D says "Really? She told me she was going to go spend it with her father". OK, so more proof that she doesn't even bother reading the stuff her lawyer sends to my lawyer! It stated that I get X-mass but she gets Thanksgiving this year. She has no idea because her D14 means NOTHING to her. Why does she even want her if she spends zero time with her?
Why is it that she gets to destroy her family and still get what she wants? My lawyer tells me unless my D says she wants to live with me (which she said she would if I lived as close to her school and friends as her mom does) that there is no way I can get custody. It just won't happen. Even if I can prove that her mom leaves her alone all the time, the court just won't care. Because my 14 year old D "likes" being alone where there is a good chance of trouble happening she will never say she wants to live with me! I hate this.
I really want to call my W and tell her off but of course that won't have any effect. She just doesn't get what damage she has done and is still doing! All of you out there that are upset because your S's don't want to see or have anything to do with their kids, think again! You're lucky! So far, my D14 has had to have ME take her to places to be with her friends as her mom has always been busy and she knows I'l drop what I'm doing and take her. Maybe it's a mistake doing that. I thought it was the right thing to be there for her when she needs me but she doesn't get what living full time with her mom is really going to be like. How will she get the places that she wants to go with her friends? Her mom won't take her, she'll just say what she does now .... "Ask your father"!
I don't need this crap right now! My W s@cks! and doesn't deserve to be a mother to her own kids! She stopped being anything close to a mother a long time ago and now she gets to take my D14 from me except weekends? No F'g way! Ugh!
Anyone have any ideas about how I can fix this without losing the little time I have with my D14 who needs a stable parent in her life more than she ever has before!!
