Hey S, if you feel that you want to meet with him, for your personal reasons, then you should. Just as long as there arent any expectations and you know he will most likely spew. I hear you on the being deserving of respect.
I wonder if something happened with your h's teeth when he was a child. Like he needed braces and didnt get them or was teased about his teeth, or his parents had a thing with braces. Who knows?
I agree with you about the job. Those ages are very important ones for you to be around and on top of stuff. I hope it turns out the way you hope.
It is amazing that these MLCers want to remain friends. I once told my xh, "Sorry, but, I dont count among my friends people who have done the kinds of things you have." Yea, he wasnt happy. Not my problem...see what I did there? <<<< It's such a wonderful phrase. LOL!
It really is a sad thing, what they do and who they become. I cannot imagine feeling as they do and causing the havoc that they cause.
I always said it would bring my xh to his knees if he ever truly grasped the depth of destruction his actions wrought.
My friend, I cannot imagine your fear that he will harm himself. I am sorry you have to feel that. Sorry he felt such despair to attempt that.
I actually think that a MLC can be a godsend for most people, if they choose to do the work. I believe it feels like they have been holding their finger in the hole in the dam and cannot any longer. It just eventually bubbles over.
I have found that most MLCers have poor coping skills. They usually revert back to the age when something occured or something wasnt learned.
With my xh, he was 13 when his mom passed away after being ill for 2 years. He didnt learn the skills he needed in order to get through it. No one talked about her or her death. No one helped him to understand or to teach him how to cope.
Many times during all of this, I could see the 13 year old boy.
I know it hurts to see him in such pain and you cant help him. It really does break one's heart. It says so much about you that you feel as you do.
Just as we have to give our children wings, we have to give our MLCers space to find themselves and to fix what's broken. He has a long road ahead.
No one knows what the future holds, S. But I do know it holds you.
You love deeply and truly. I can feel that.
We are alike in a lot of ways...I always say I am a simple girl, too. I like that about me. .
So, I mentioned about my xh. Job, Trav, Mach and Eric and others all know about him. He is one of the crazier ones. Some of the things that have come out of his mouth would astound you. Truly. I have to go back and find some of the conversations. Talk about wanting to bang your head against the wall. LOL!
We have a strange relationship. We dont really talk much, we text infrequently. But every so often he reaches out and lays some thoughts on me. They never cease to amaze me. He is a tunnel hugger for sure. Dont know if he will ever get out, poor man.
He told me recently that the light went out of his life when I was no longer in it. I believe he meant it. I know it did. My hope, no matter what he's done, is and always will be that he finds peace and happiness in his life. Everyone deserves that.
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