Newbie Errors- Restarting the R- part 2

[Bart42]

Well, just had the R talk and I think I'm more confused than ever.

W focused on our historical problems and stated grave uncertainty that we can save the M, but that we should try for three more months and see where we are.

When I asked what changed, she stated that the A was over but without making and real admissions that it A continued other than saying that before now "she was only half in" and thought she could manage the situation(fixing M problems while continuing A)but she now knows how everything outside the M hurt it and has to not be a part of it going forward. Lots of talk about her IC and how its just screwed up her head and made her confused by focusing on the past and why she is where she is versus focusing on what she wants her life to be (she needs a results oriented coach). W says we should try to work on R for three months and see what happens-she's also unsure M may work out, but three months gets us through the holidays (for the kids) and allows us to feel we gave it our best shot.

I gave the "gee I'm unsure" "how can I trust" "this is the fourth time you've told me A is over" etc. and she just shrugged her shoulders and said she understands my point. I really harped on truth as the foundation for any future relationship and she just agreed.

No hint of being desperate or fearful M may end- she seemed more hurt and confused than anything else.

My gut tells me she is still processing loss of OM and not in a place to think clearly about M- she isn't ready for M to end but doesn't seem to be doing what she needs to save it because her head is such a mess right now.

Now I owe her a response (will wait a day or two) from my "I'll think about it" stance but my gut tells me she is not ready to offer transparency or NC.

I'm so spent not sure I want to open myself up to being hurt again, either.

Lots to think about how I move this forward.