Hey Shining, Yeah, I get his "D will be no big deal" crap. I got it too. How "easy" it will be, how it won't have ANY negative effect on the kids (in fact because she will automatically become "happy" once the D is final, she will be a "better" mother than she is now!), how I will find out that I will be happier without her myself, on and on. They think that just because they want it to be that way, it will be. Remember this is from someone who experienced her parents unbelievably bad D that took over 10 years because of her fathers trying to keep her mother from getting a penny ...and almost succeeded! You would think she would know better, but, like everyone says, they just don't see reality.
When my w started the D she had this vision of us being all friendly and "co-parenting", spending holidays together because she will be so happy, etc. Even when she told me that she had seen a lawyer a week after telling me she wasn't going to and she had no intention of filing for D, she actually thought I'd be "happy" that she went and that now she could answer all my questions. She was actually shocked that I was upset that she had lied to me. Part of MLC is that they just don't understand why anyone could possibly not see how "right" they are. How they just have no choice but to do what they are doing.
Shining, just keep in mind there is no possible way to have any kind of "normal" R with your H. There comes a point where you have to understand that all that it takes to set them off is for you to not just agree with whatever they say. Think about that. Could you ever be "friends" with someone who goes crazy and starts spewing at you just because you disagreed with them about anything? Of course not. In their world there is no "give and take" and if you don't just roll over and say OK about anything, you become the evil person who doesn't want them to be "happy". It's not about you, it's about him.
Who knows what set him off this time. In fact, it doesn't matter. He will find a "reason" until he gets what it is he thinks he "needs" to be happy and nothing you do will change that. You told him that you won't be his "friend" if he files for D. Well, now that makes you "bad". He just can't see or care about what you are going through. Like a child he only sees that you won't give him what he wants so he's going to take his ball and go home (like you said).
You are handling it well. Stay strong. You know what the truth is whether he see's it or not.
