This is getting stressful. But I'm ok. My emotions are on high alert, but not crying or in despair.

H sent more texts that basically declare what, and how, the few things we have left are to be divided. (In his mind)

He included more spew of reasons he doesn't want to be with me. threw all kinds of old, old, petty things into the pot. People don't D over this stuff. Wow. More blame. It really hurt. He is definitely in a dark place.

He is now insulting me and bringing up my lack of job as a choice. It is a choice, actually. Temporarily. I know what I need to do for me and my S18s. I know I'll survive during this gift of time.

But my reasons and my plans are none of his business anymore, and I don't feel like explaining my plan to a crazy person who doesn't give a rat's a$$ about me. He gave up the right to knowing my business when he deemed his affairs none of mine.

I figured it was best to not feed it.

I think he is spinning and spinning about this because for the first time, I told him what D would mean for our friendship.

He has consistently said many many times, he doesn't want to fight. This is obviously very important to him. That we can still be friends. He did this again today, only now, he has drawn up papers.....online D-in-a-box. He sees only the black and white.

That's when I replied that no, our friendship will change if you D me. He flipped out.

That's when the spew got worse. He also, like a child...."resigned" his word game. Seriously. Took his ball and went home.

I think I put a stop to the spew. I finally sent:

M: I saw that you resigned from the game. If you are upset, that's ok. I'm not going to fight with you.

H: you said we can't be friends

M: Things will change if we are D. There is more to discuss but now it's not the right time.

H: I don't know what else there could be

M: You may be right. There may not be anything else. But you can at least give me the decency to go through this in person.

H: Sure. I really don't know what else there is to even discuss, Let me know when



I am off to the ortho with D13. Not responding to that.

I'm open to suggestions on what to do/where to go with this next.

I feel better already after writing this out. Things pass quicker now. (I had several inappropriate analogies that I will refrain from typing. You may laugh hysterically anyway, in their absence).