Hey Mighty, I'm with Hope here. You have every right to be angry. If he wasn't your H and was the H of a close friend or family member, you would feel how you do towards him now because what he has done and said is just plain WRONG. MLC or not, he has gone so far over to the "dark side" that anyone can see that he has no "justification" for any of his actions...even IF you were the worlds worse wife (we all know you weren't, don't get me wrong) what he did was beyond the pale. Of course in his state of mind he can't allow himself to see this.
Let me tell you, my W's father did many of the things your H has done to his W and family. Add to that over the years he not only refused to see that what he did was at all "wrong" but he made things worse by abandoning his kids, never paying CS, hiding all the money he could so much so his family barely made it financially. Until her MLC my W saw who he really was. Since her crisis, my W has totally changed this history with her father. She now blames her own mother for his awful actions and lack of caring. This is what MLC does to people. It skews their perceptions of reality. For 37 years she saw her father for the man he was. Then when she started her MLC, she now has totally reversed her perceptions of what happened. She has actually said that HE is a VICTIM. A victim of her mother saying "bad things" about him, his being "misunderstood". Why? I think it's because the MLC has skewed HER perception of what is "right", what is "acceptable" behavior. What I'm trying to say here is that MLC, IMO, causes them to just no longer be able to tell what is right, what is normal, what is acceptable. I think it's more than the empathy chip no longer working. I think they truly lose all sense of what is right and wrong. It has nothing to do with you or who they were before the crisis.This is why so many have affairs with people who they wouldn't have looked at twice in the past. Make friends with people who, before the crisis they would have seen as "bad" people whose values just don't match their own.
Maybe some day he will come out of his crisis and see the damage he has caused, see just how low he stooped in his search for "happiness", maybe not. All you can do is know that he isn't the person who he was and do what you can for you and your kids. Hang in there Mighty. You got this!
