still waiting

[Ahoy]

True! Thank you for those insights, raliced. I do need to think about the situation more objectively (and less emotionally). I saw that same percentage about separated couples getting divorced, and also found it depressing. I am doing EVERYTHING I possibly can to help get us in the 30%. I'm am DBing my butt off. All of my interactions with H since I started DBing (two weeks after BD) have been almost exactly what is recommended. Right now I am failing in my detachment, obviously, since I'm so emotional right now. But I'm not sharing these emotions with H, and am continuing with him "as if."

But I know it might all be for naught. And it drives me crazy that I can't just tell him exactly how I'm feeling, and how daughter is feeling. Because I know if would drive him further away. There is no honesty in the relationship. He won't be honest with me, and I can't be honest with him right now (because he doesn't want to hear it, and I'm not supposed to talk about R). So I just smile and act like life is grand when I feel like I'm dying inside, and I just don't know how long I can keep that up, truly. But I'm trying.