Thank you all . . . it's so good to have the support. I will take my time. I know I am just hurting a lot right now and that makes me want to jump off the emotional roller coaster (by being done with him) but I will be patient, for my daughter's sake, for H's sake, for my sake. But I am losing hope. I feel like he is having a great time, enjoying his new life, and is just waiting until January so we can file the papers and be done so he can carry on his merry way without the guilt.
Honestly, it makes me want to go out and have a meaningless relationship with someone RIGHT NOW. But I'm not in my 20s anymore, and I'm not an idiot, and I know that wouldn't solve anything. And I know it would really be just to get revenge on crazy H, to have a secret of my own. It would destroy everything. But right now everything already feels so destroyed. I know there are rare examples of folks recovering from this, but they are so rare. I am just having a hard time thinking about feeling this way in limbo for the next three months (or longer). And for what?
M: 43 H: 39 D: 14 Married 15 Together 16 BD: 6/2014 S: 8/2014 OW revealed 10/2014 Instigated dissolution 12/2014, in progress So over it!
