EA then PA with her ex

[Anaru]

Thx Starsky - agreed - and I have been crystal clear to her that current behavior=unnacceptable and she accepts that I will not wait forever.
This is the rub in the DB/DR process.
Moving on myself, GAL, and giving her the space to get her head on straight so she can recommit to me...it's clear.
But how long is too long to wait, having been married for 20yr?
Part of the issue is that for her to work out what she wants, she needs to round things off with OM (remember this was her boyfriend before me - 21+years ago - they started dating as teenagers - she has a lot of idealizing to unwind).

She is almost there, being done with him I mean, and I do not want to falter at the last post by coming on strong with demands/ultimatums.
That is why the DR focus on myself/GAL is so useful - and avoiding cheeseless tunnels
I think it is only myself can decide when I am done - when I have to say goodbye to all that.
And I am not sure there are objective criteria for throwing in the towel - and after all this is what DB / DR is all about...never giving up hope.