It doesn't feel like a fairytale anymore...

[fthnluv]

Thanks Matt. I know what you say is true, some days are just harder to get through than others. I truly appreciate your support.

I texted H tonight to tell him we needed to discuss a school incident that came up with S8 and so he could talk to S8 about it (a fairly serious acting out incident, BTW). I then accidentally texted him back a text "he isn't going for custody" that I meant to text a friend and told him that the last text was sent to him on accident. H never responded. I then texted him again after S8 went to bed, almost 2 hours after it showed he read the text and he claims he "just got the text" and was going to bed and would call in the morning (which I advised doesn't work for me, other obligations). Why do they lie about everything? He clearly read the text 2 hours earlier and had plenty of time to call and talk to S8. Apparently what I am hearing is true, H isn't just running from me, he is running from being a father too. Ugh. It's so incredibly frustrating. I find myself wondering why I would even want this guy back? I don't, I guess, I want the man I loved for 23 years back, not this idiot.

Single parenthood... I didn't sign up for this. It's so incredibly hard. I thought it was hard when we were only separated due to work (or so I thought) but when it's clear that I am ALONE and do not even have a partner to rant to and console me and make decisions with it is just incredibly painful.