Yup, right on uR. After xh dropped the nuke on me.... I was so upset for him! I spent weeks agonizing over what he must have been feeling. I think that's why my anger has been coming of late... because I spent time focused on his feelings.
I need to make it about me know. Just like you, Shining. I didn't mean to hijack, I just want you to know that I am there with ya, sista! ahem... time for change (wink, wink).
Oh, and by the way. I am not at all saying that your sitch will end up like mine. But, what I do know is that we have our own journeys. It has to be about us now. If he comes back to you... bonus. That would be awesome. He will be better and you will be better.
Great job, Shining. Did you just quote Bieber? I like obscure 80s music and took the never say never quote from a band called Romeo Void. I did quote Coolio the other day so if you find something with meaning- use it.
It is difficult yet necessary to let them go. It's the only way to truly live. Hang in there! Keeping my fingers crossed for you on the new gig front:-)
3 kids BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. ) Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style D final 9-9-14 "Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
GB, Ha!! Yep. I did. I quoted Beiber. I did it, and not one of my kids are to find out or I will be disowned as their mother. And, it's funny to me that autocorrect wants to change his name to "briber"...
I'm now moving on to some Kris Kross.... Cuz I'm gettin' "wiggida wiggida wiggida wack!"
Shining your thread and all the advice here is getting me through some tough days. So thankful for this board!
"I struggle because I feel his pain. I can't explain it. I just have a gut that screams at me. It tells me that he doesn't know why he's doing what he's doing. He isn't happy. He is so confused. That things make so much sense to him one minute and not the next. That he feels like he's going crazy sometimes. That he loves me and hates me all at once."
^^^^ I feel this so much- my H has even told me he's broken and he doesn't know if he'll ever be fixed.
My frustration right now is the effect on my D13 which spins me into some serious anger. Working through that to get back to compassion.
And to add to the songs.... I was blaring Heart " never" in my car this morning. These lyrics spoke to me-
" hey baby I'm talking to you- stop yourself and listen. Some things you can never choose, even if you try. You're banging your head again, cuz somebody won't let you in. One chance, one love- hold me down or let me go."
Hmmmm- was she dealing with a man in MLC???
Me 41 H 40 M 20 T 23 S 19,16, 8 D 13 BD1 dec 2012 not sure going to work BD2 sep 2013 seeking a D Filed oct 2013, D Feb 2015 Life is about daring greatly, about being in the arena- Brene Brown
Hi, daring, I'm glad my thread is helping you. There are some wise people on this board.
I got text spew this morning. It stung. I'll be ok.
Some highlights from him: I don't want to fight but I'd like to get the papers filed. They are straight forward. When can I give to you to sighn? I need you to refi the car into your name I can't put that on my shoulders. I have to take care of me now. I can't and won't be with you. I am not going to take that chance to repeat the beating I took. Too much bad stuff happened. Please move on. We can't be together. Nothing has changed
I responded (not to each text) but kept it short. Just ok's and "I'm sorry you feel that way". Nothing I do or say matters. This train is going to crash. I'm trying so hard to prepare but it still hurts.
He was really sweet to me for a long time. Now back to this. Out of nowhere. No point in wondering why.
