Need help

[lostluv]

ok, i'm thinking too much again I guess....so I need some input. here is a list of things that I used to do but have stopped because it put pressure on her or annoyed her. Plus we were talking about a trial separation but we are trying to do it without actually moving out because that would be financially stressful for both, but more importantly would be devastating on my daughter (almost 3)

1. send a text when she gets up saying "good morning beautiful" and inquire how our daughter slept (she doesn't always sleep at night) and if my wife got rest. - just stopped doing this in the past couple weeks as to give her space when we started talking separation.

2. give her a quick kiss and tell her I love her and wish her a great day when she leaves for work - havent told her I loved her but only 2-3 times in the past 2 months - I quit initiating the kiss and she made no attempt. if I do initiate, she almost looks paranoid?

3. I used to buy her fresh flowers every sunday when grocery shopping - have been doing this since december - stopped the past two weeks.

4. give her kiss and tell her i love her every night before bed

5. hold her hand when driving or walking - she hasn't initiated it in at least a month



list of things that I felt were good 180's

1. made arrangements at work to leave early so i could get my daughter up and take her to day care so my wife could get to work earlier.

2. got up early (before wife and daughter gets home) to work out or do it before I go to bed so I'm not taking a couple hours in the evening (8-10 pm) in order to spend more time with family

3. putting my daughter to bed every other night rather than my wife doing it every night (includes brushing teeth, reading, hair, etc)

4. do dishes and clean more often without question

5. feed the cats and clean the litter boxes so my wife does not have to do it - i rarely did it before except when she was pregnant

6. quit spending money on stupid stuff (that was one original complaint) - I do not go on craigslist, ebay, or any other site. if I am going to purchase something more than $25 I get my wife's input/permission


I almost feel as if I should ask her about the affection displays that I miss (hug, kiss, love you's and holding hands) but feel like it will be pressured.

we have not had sex it more than two months. and the last time we did, she was not into it at all. I understand that isn't even on the table right now, just putting down what I can think of.