Need help. Scared, confused, and hurting.

[PeterV2]

Jefe, good for you, detaching while she's spewing. Good thick spew jacket you're wearing! Consider that a positive step in the right direction. It's all about baby steps. One inch at a time. It's a noble pursuit to save your marriage and be proud of that. But at the same time be humbled by the fact that you're human and you will backslide from time to time. When you do, don't panic. Just brush yourself off pick yourself up and carry on DBing.
You did well, keeping a PMA in the face of your ranting W. If you keep it up she may see that you're desirable. It's a fickle dance. But learn from my mistakes. Don't pursue or pressure her to reconcile. Let the universe unfold as it will. There's a greater power at work here. We must all remain patient and trust in the process.