Feeling stronger than ever

[mleigh4]

Thank you Tuff and Shinig. It's been a REALLY bad day. H decided to work late tonight, after not seeing S for 4 days and giving him all of 5 minutes of attention last night. Of course, I love H not around. I just worry about S. But in all honesty, he really doesn't seem to care. So maybe I should stop worrying and let it be?

H knows how to push my buttons by attacking my parenting. Funny, if he thinks I am such a horrible mother, why does he leave it all up to me? Doesn't make sense to me, but does any of it??? Let's see I get S up, get breakfast, pack his lunch, get him to school. I pick him up, dinner, bath, homework, chores and bedtime. All on me. What does H do? Good question. Cake eat and critique. Once in a while he will play with S or back me up on discipline, but not much more these days. H is way into his own world for much more.

I had my cry fest. I let it out. Something keeps telling me this is all happening for a reason. There is some purpose to this. I am a great mother. My S is my world and loves me so much. I am an amazing and loving person. I will not let H change that. I will stay true to myself. H is in more pain than me. Practice compassion and patience. I can do this. It will be ok. No matter what happens, I will be ok.